Unsplash photo by Rod Long
Whenever I ask people about their “superpowers,” there’s often a brief pause, and maybe a tinge of embarrassment. Superpowers? Most people don’t naturally think of themselves in that way.
What I’m usually pointing toward are the qualities that come so naturally we barely notice them — the things we do almost like breathing. The person who brings calm and clarity in moments of chaos. The colleague who sees patterns others miss. The teammate others rely on to bring alignment when a group is pulling in different directions.
Because these qualities are so much a part of us, we often underestimate how differentiated and valuable they are. Often, it’s others who see these qualities in us long before we’ve fully articulated them ourselves.
It’s only when I ask people what others consistently rely on them for — or what they do almost instinctively that seems harder for others — that I see a lightbulb go on. Oh… maybe that is something.
I was reminded of this recently while working with a client in the final stages of interviewing for a leadership role. The hiring leader told her she wanted to have a conversation and get to know her better. She asked my client about her hobbies — how she learned, practiced, and improved. But the questions weren’t really about hobbies at all. They were a way into understanding how my client thought and operated.
Was she curious? Strategic? Did she seek feedback? Persist when things got hard? The conversation was about how my client moved through the world — and whether she was someone this leader wanted on her team.
People who understand how they create value tend to interview more naturally, build stronger relationships, and talk about their work with greater clarity and conviction.
When I think about the people I’ve most loved working with — leaders, mentors, colleagues, coaches — what stands out is that they understood how they contributed at their best. People trusted them. Others felt steadier around them. They didn’t need to perform or persuade; they simply showed up as themselves, consistently.
The strongest teams I’ve encountered weren’t made up of people who were all the same. They were built around people who understood their own strengths and genuinely valued the strengths of others.
But this kind of self-awareness rarely happens automatically. Most of us move through our days doing what comes naturally, without fully recognizing the value or impact of those qualities.
One way these qualities reveal themselves is by noticing patterns. What do people consistently rely on you for? When have you felt most effective and grounded? What situations bring out your best thinking and leadership?
If you can’t see it, ask someone who knows you well — a close colleague or friend. They often see it before we do.
The qualities that most distinguish us are often the ones that feel most natural — so natural, in fact, that we’ve stopped seeing them.
But when we recognize those strengths more clearly and contribute from them more consistently, we become more grounded in who we are, more effective in how we contribute, and often better able to help the people around us do their best work.
